We have never spoken a word to each other, we’ve never been friends. But big part of me was longing for that to be true. And now, I’m standing here, among other mourners, and more and more questions emerge in my mind. Why? Why have you done that? Why you didn’t give me a chance? Why is it all over before it had a chance to begun?
Your mom came to me after the ceremonial, her eyes were bloodshot, and there were no tears left for her to cry for her beloved son. „Are you Zachary? “she asked and my heart stopped beating at that particular moment. How come she knows my name? „Y-Yeah...“ was all I could say. „I suppose this was for you...“she said quietly, nearly whispered. No matter how impossible it seemed, her eyes began to fill with tears again. She wedged small piece of paper to my hand and went away. Nothing else was said.
I was scared; my heart was beating like crazy... I opened that small piece of what was left of you... I started to read and I felt the tears burning in my eyes...
Your look was like a breeze
that blown off candle of my intention.
Your smile was like a downpour,
that concealed my tears of mortification.
You were the one, the beloved,
but nevertheless hated.
You were what I missed in my life,
but you were unreachable.
You were the one I was dreaming about,
and what I was afraid of.
You were my light in the darkness,
but you were the reason of it.
You were the source of the most beautiful dreams
and most wicked nightmares…